Things I Discovered….

When slicing in March I discovered,

My writing doesn't have to be perfect to be appreciated and shared,

What its like to be a part of a writing community,
That other people share some of my same feelings and experiences,
Blogging is fun,
Writers share a special bond,
The more I write, the more I look at the world as a writer,
Everybody has their own path to follow, but certain feelings are universal
How much I appreciate this great group of writers
That even though I didn't make it everyday, I think I did pretty good!

Yeah!  Thank you all for the experience.

Olympic National Park 2013

There's something about a clean bathroom….

 There's something about the small space of my bathroom.  I love to decorate it, clean it and then redecorate it again.  I get this sense of accomplishment and cleanliness.  When I'm upset about something, I go to the bathroom and just really start cleaning.   It's therapeutic, scrub, wipe, fresh new towels, sparkling tub and toilet.  Am I weird?

Maybe it's because the older I get, the more time I spend there!

Here's my latest creation, butterflies and blossoms.

March Madness

Mudslides, earthquakes and missing airplanes
I am not personally affected by any of these events. I don't know anyone that's been affected by them either.  But it does make me step back, take a deep breath and a long look around me.  I feel grateful today!

G =  Grandmother, my favorite thing in the world!
R =   Real friends, you know them when you have them and there's      
        nothing else like it.
A =   Animals, What can I say, I'm a nature and animal lover
T =   Teaching of course, lucky to be doing something I love
E =  Energy, the great energy and support I feel when slicing
         It has been pretty wonderful. Thank you!
F =   Family,  they're happy, safe and healthy
U =  Understanding, some people don't *get* me.. but some do
L =   Love, Laughter, Listeners, Laundry,  

Worry

The blast of the heater wakes me in the midst of a dream. Weird, because usually it's a sound that stays in the background unnoticed.  What was I dreaming about?  I search my memory but can't quite find it in the fog of my half awake condition. 

It's that unsettled feeling, but I'm not quite sure what's making me worry.  My mind wanders and settles strongly on one of my daughters. I need to call her tomorrow I think to myself, and make sure everything is safe and sound in her world.  I've had this happen to me before. There is someone or something that weighs heavy on my mind and I feel a compulsion to call. send a card or visit. I've regretted the times I've ignored that voice that urges me to intervene.  

I've also had the opposite happen to me.  There are times that I've been on the receiving end of a much needed phone call, email or simply a kind word.  It seems to happen when I'm especially down or sick and I always wonder.  How did they know? 

I'll call her tomorrow I think as I hear the heater kick on again and try to quiet my mind from worry. I roll over and try to fall back into sleep.

Persuasion

He sits at my table.  A young boy in the 4th grade with a blonde mohawk and a defiant attitude.  The assignment for the day is to write a persuasive letter.  He brainstorms, but doesn't like any of his ideas.  I've noticed he's been distracted since he found out that he's going to be moving to a town in Washington state and they don't have his favorite thing there.  They don't have a BMX track, or his dad or his friends.

I don't know what to write about, he says defeated.  I don't want to. That's when inspiration strikes.  Why don't you write a letter to the mayor persuading him to build a BMX bike track?  What do you think?  His eyes light up and he grabs his pencil and starts to write reason, detail, fact, experience. You'll have healthy kids, it'll bring in tourists, it will give kids something to do outside away from video games and it will teach kids to fall properly on their legs.   I love the conclusion of his letter. 

The most important reason that your town should have a BMX track is so that the kids there can make lifelong friends.

Sincerely,

F

He revised, edited and addressed an envelope and then put it in the mail.  I hope that he gets a response and that his voice is heard.

Bird Watching Along the River

Shhhh… I tell myself. Its quiet here this morning walking by the slow moving river.  I see a runner off in the distance running in sync with his companion, a black lab.  But I can't hear them.  It's so serene and uncomplicated.

Each of my footsteps sound out of place with nature, like an intrusion, as I walk along the well-packed, well worn dirt path.  The binoculars feel heavy around my neck and I strain my ears to hear any of the birds or other animals that I'm in search of on this brisk, cool day.

There is nothing yet, but I have time.

As I walk, I notice that my mind does not over analyze or worry.  Those things are pushed out as I'm concentrating on the details of nature, the gentle splash of the river and the sight of the path before me. The path narrows and weaves in front of me and I can't quite see around the corner.  Knowing, yet not knowing what I'll find there.

Focus

I've always had trouble with the "F" word.  There are just too many things to think about and do!

 Focus is being in the zone     

even when you're not alone

Trying hard to tune out the world 

Focus is a dirty word

Look out there, is it a squirrel?

Okay now, let's get back to work

I love that song, and turn it up

Then take a break to do the "jerk"

Thirteen page paper waits for me

At last, I'm on a typing spree

Phone, don't ring 

and stomach don't grumble

This time, I need this time to Focus

4:56 p.m.

4:56 p.m.  A quick stop at the grocery store before I go home finds me in line with a small collection of groceries.  The gal in front of me is wearing a scarf on her head, looking thin and weak.  The checker, kind and helpful, makes cheerful conversation and makes sure she has help to her car.  There's a young baby crying in the background and a cart squeaking while a young lady pushes it with one hand while chatting on the phone.  The magazine headlines distract me as I wait patiently for my turn to check out and go home.

Last nights dinner

Last nights dinner was a dismal failure.  I'm trying this new attitude about food.  I used to run out and buy whatever I was missing for the meal I wanted to fix.  My new philosophy is to make do, improvise and substitute with things I already have at home. So, last night I wanted to make pasta but I did not have my good old stand by - "Ragu".   No problem, just whip out the old internet and look for a recipe.  I found one that looked exquisite, had 5 star reviews and I had most all of the ingredients.

Fantastic! I can do this.  I start chopping the garlic and heating the olive oil and feeling like a regular Rachel Ray.  There is country music crooning in the background as I gather the spices and pull out the stewed tomatoes. Let the garlic sauté in the olive oil while I just go check on my laundry for one quick, brisk minute.  While I'm at it, I stop to put new towels in the bathroom, curse whoever didn't replace the toilet paper when it was empty and fix that.  Fold a few clothes while I'm there and then…….

*Sniff* Drat, what happened to my beautiful garlic smell, it smells….. burnt…   

No worries, Albertsons is right around the corner.  I'll just pop in and get some "Ragu."

Expecting…..

Me?  I'm not "expecting" myself but I am expecting two more grandchildren next month.

Two of my daughters are expecting a baby within four days of each other.  My oldest daughter is due with a baby girl on April 1st and my second oldest daughter is due with a baby boy on April 5th.  Mind you, they do not live anywhere near each other.  In fact, they live on separate sides of the continent.

This is making me feel excited, yet a little anxious.  I want to be there for both of them.  I want to help ease some burden, cook meals, do laundry or entertain siblings so they can nap.  However, this will not be possible this time around and it's making me feel a little like the cat looking into the fishbowl with no way to get inside.

Call me when you go to the hospital I still tell them.  Take lots of pictures and get lots of rest.

The distance is a time thief, sometimes taking months at a time from me and my grand babies.  I will try to catch up, Skype and send cards and see you all as soon as I can.

Strengths

Strengths

Why are we so hard on ourselves?

Dwelling on our weaknesses

when we have so many strengths

and super powers

to hone and sharpen

Let's look at ourselves and our children

and our strengths vs deficits

Build on our curiosity and creativity

Find out our passions and take them

as far as they can go!

Strong

Wyoming is Windy

The wind cuts right through my coat.  I scrunch up my neck and pull my scarf tighter.  Running, head down into the wind, making sure that everything is tucked deep into my computer bag so that nothing escapes and I don't have to go chasing it down the street.  I see my neighbor chasing down her trash can.  I'm glad mine was decorated by my daughter when she and her friend decided to paint her bedroom.  At least I'll be able to find it when I get home.

The wind keeps me awake at night and I feel that I am its captive.  I bury my head deeper under the pillow.  Maybe some music, NPR or Ted Talk will drown you out of my head.  At last slumber finds me, and when I wake up, it is quiet. I feel my neck and other muscles go slack, my mind go clear.  Ahhh

Another World

The surface of the Atlantic Ocean is aquamarine and pristine, but looking at the surface is deceiving.  There is no clue or sign of the teaming life there just below the surface.  

Wading into the water, I carry my flippers and have my goggles and snorkel hanging loosely around my neck.  It's taken me awhile, but I've learned how to sit back and put my flippers on awkwardly and without getting a nasty cramp in my leg.  With one final yank I have them both on, slip on my goggles and begin my adventure in another world.

As soon as I tip my head in the water I see what is hiding beneath the surface of the blue water.  I float amongst the fish and coral careful not to touch anything with my clumsy fins.  I find a school of tiger barbs and try to blend in with them as if I'm one of them.  

I have my camera tucked safely within a plastic protector and snap a picture of a hungry parrot fish munching on some coral.   I spend hours observing and letting my mind escape into that watery, winsome world until it's time to go back to shore and come back again tomorrow.

Small Moment From My Past

My sister and I were in one of those moods when we did not want to go down for our nap.  I being the oldest, may have been the instigator although I don't remember that part very clearly.  Colleen, a year and a half younger than I  was and yet we were both very young.  It was before we started kindergarten and in those days there was no preschool. Mother stayed home and she was our preschool.

Our mother had already attempted to put us in our shared bedroom for a nap multiple times.  Normally, if we didn't comply, there would be some scolding and threats of what would happen if we came out of our bedroom one more time.  

This day was different and perhaps that is why it is a strong memory of a moment from my childhood.  

We were not cooperating and had left our bedroom yet again.  Both of us were playing around the legs of our mother as she was standing at the sink doing the dishes.  I remember that she was quietly working and her mood subdued.  As a small child, I looked up at her from where I sat at her feet and saw quiet tears streaming down her face as she methodically washed a cup, rinsed it and set it in the drainer.  

I felt empathy for mom at such a young age.  I grabbed my sister's hand and we went off to our bedroom and fell asleep for a good long nap.

What do you do when there's no internet?

I haven't written since Monday and so I feel like I'm starting all over!  No wi-fi where we were and so I just decided to relax and enjoy.

What do you do when there's no internet?  The first feeling I got was, well I have to admit, it was panic.  No internet?  For five days?  I realized how much the internet opens up my world.  I can Skype, FaceTime or see my children and grandchildren instantly.  I've grown accustomed to being able to see their little faces whenever I want to.  Five days,  I felt a little selfish actually.   After my initial feeling of panic, I settled in to sun and surf.  We saw whales, fish and birds.  We hiked and swam.  My instinct was to keep checking my email, blog and Facebook.  I'd see an animal or fish and want to look it up on the internet. Nope.  I talked to more people, read more of my book and relaxed more.  I have to admit that I'm glad to have the internet back, but it was a lovely five days.

I didn't relax quite as much as this guy!

In Search of the Brandt Cormorant

                           

 In search of the Brandt Cormorant and found a guide with insight and heart

In Baja California

Lives Maria

Native

Educated

Defender of birds

Their ecosystems

Sharing

History

Bird identification

Passion for her country

Stealthy, whispering

Vanessa – Look

Right there, do you see that handsome Cormorant?

He has attitude

He’s looking right at you!

Who is watching who?

The birds are shy, secretive

Camoflauged so well

There he is

Do you see his blue throat?

He is showing off for you.

Appreciation

Love for what she does

Maria, Bird Guide

You can find Maria at this website!

Slicing is Helping me Live in the Moment

Normally I walk aimlessly around the bookstore, but today I had purpose.  I have heard of people doing this.  They find books they want to buy and take a picture of them.  The reason for this is either they can't buy all the books they want today so put those pictures on a … to be bought list.  The other reason is to buy them later at a cheaper venue.

I had another purpose today.  The Friends of the Library group in our town is having a book sale the end of March where they let you fill the bag for $2.00 and the money goes back to the library.  Well, normally I go in there and just feel dazed and confused.  I forget which author I'm looking for or what book titles I had in mind for my classroom.  So this time I want to be armed with pictures from the bookstore to help me regain my focus.

As I'm walking around, I notice a tall thin gentleman with curly hair and glasses.  He walks quickly among the books, talking fast mentioning books that he really likes or books that he's seen the movie.   I try not to stare but I enjoy him and his enthusiasm is contagious.  I see that there is an attractive blonde woman with him.  She's looking at the books he shows her and nods and smiles and shows him other books.  

He becomes very animated when he sees a young man in the store looking at the book, The Hobbit.  I love the hobbit he says, and it comes out loudly because of his obvious knowledge and his need to share what he knows and feels about this book.  I have the movie.  You can come over and watch it with me anytime.  I look over at the blonde woman and we both smile broadly.  

These are the types of moments that I'm beginning to stop, notice and enjoy. 

Camouflage

Have you ever wanted to just disappear?  Melt into the scenery and hope nobody notices you?

 Let me just start this slice by saying that I do have a reputation for being a bit of a klutz.  Sometimes I wonder if there are invisible ropes put out there just to trip me.

As I'm getting ready to go on my trip to Mexico for spring break, I'm remembering a small moment from my last trip to Mexico 3 years ago when the dreaded invisible rope appeared.  I was SO excited.  It was my first trip ever to Mexico at an all inclusive hotel right on the beach south of Cancun.  Mind you, this was the very first night we arrived.  It was early evening, that time right after the sun has gone down, but not yet dark.  We were walking, exploring and yes, I did have a small plastic cup with a drink in my hand, but I hadn't even taken a sip out of it yet.  

Walking, talking, gazing and then f a l l i n g …. flat on my face.  Ouch.  It felt like slow motion as my drink went flying and I landed on my right arm.  Several of the other guests ran over to help me as I wanted to just disappear and become part of the cement walk beneath me.  Thanks.. it's okay.. I'll be fine, I can hear myself saying as I bravely try to hold back my tears.  Oh not tears of hurt, but tears of embarrassment. 

My arm has a bad case of road rash and we go to the front desk for some antiseptic to put on my fresh wound.  They are so nice and ask if I want them to call the ambulance.  Ambulance?  No no… OH ambulance is the medic that they have on salary at the hotel.  He was so kind and doctored me up and sent us on our way to enjoy the rest of our vacation. 

Now I'm hoping for no invisible ropes on this trip!

Kindness and a Tattoo

I pulled into the local Wendy's in our town.  I go there when I'm in a rush and need something inexpensive to eat.  My expectations are never high and they were especially low today, because I was feeling the same.  Crazy day at school, worried about kids, health and life in general.

To my surprise, a pleasant and energetic voice rang through the machine and asked what I would like to eat.  I was used to the tired, bored voice that usually greeted me there.  This new voice caught my attention and made me even perk up a bit.  I gave her my order and drove around to the window, curious now to see the person behind this voice.

 From out of the window reached an arm with a beautiful sleeve tattoo that matched the beautiful smile on her face.  I gave her my money and she gave me my drink while doing a balancing with it, using the hand attached to the tattooed arm.  She asked how I was doing and I said fine and asked the obligatory question back to her.  She answered with a huge smile that she was exemplary.  I smiled and my spirit was lifted.

 I went back home thinking about my attitude and my ability to make a difference in this world with such a simple gesture.  This experience happened to me a few months ago but it stays with me, especially when I'm feeling sorry for myself.

 I still go to that Wendy's but no longer see my cheerful tattooed lady.  No doubt, she's gone on to management or something better than the Wendy's window.  Even though she's no longer there, somethings happened at that Wendy's.  A cheerful transition. So now whenever I feel low, I go to Wendy's and they make me smile and I remind myself, life is good.

Decisions, Decisions

A week long trip is in my future.  Cabos San Lucas, Mexico in the Baja Peninsula, where I'll be snorkeling, birding, eating and reading.  As I contemplate my trip, I feel elation and excitement and at the same time, a sudden tightness in my chest.  

What books will I bring? This week is my time to read anything that I want too.  I can't choose! 

I walk determinedly downstairs to my spare bedroom and I look wide-eyed and overwhelmed at my bookshelf. I pull some of my favorite authors off the shelf and put some back.  Hmmmmm.  I do this countless times. Arguing with myself, this one is too serious, too scary, not this one.  I want something fun and mindless and adult.  My self imposed book rules for this vacation are, no professional books and no elementary school novels.  

Okay, at last, here are the nominees for vacation reads.

I'm down to eight books.  Yikes, that will make for a heavy suitcase.  I call my friend and he's no help. He tells me, you need to get an ereader. Oh boy, no time and I'm still on the fence about them. That means its up to me.  I decide I need to bring three books, because I do not want to be at the airport on the way home with no book!  It's now three weeks later, and I still haven't decided which three books will get the privilege of going with me to Mexico. 

• Mr. Penumbra's 24-hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan
• A Caribbean Mystery by Agatha Christie 
• The Hard Way by Lee Child
• Island of the Sequined Love Nun by Christopher Moore
• They Did It with Love by Kate Morgenroth
• The Racketeer by John Grisham
• Odd Apocalypse by Dean Koontz
• OR
• The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

Oh… and maybe I should throw in a swimming suit and some sunscreen!

Houston, We have a problem…..

Ahh, the joys of technology.  It's 1:30 in the afternoon and the webinar is about to start.  It's a discussion about how to use nonfiction notebooks with author Aimee Buckner.  I'm going to catch what I can of the webinar while my students are at music and then I can look at the recorded chat at my leisure.

This is the what I love about technology.  I get my own personal professional development.  I choose what I'm interested in, what moves me, things that I notice that I need to help me or my teaching to grow.

Choice

I love the ability to be interactive, to type in my questions, to see what questions others have from around the world! 

Social, diverse, immediate feedback

I'm so excited, I have my headphones on, and notebook at the ready.  The powerpoint starts and Aimee is introduced and begins presenting and answering questions that we already had the opportunity to send in to her earlier in the week.

Relevent and current 

Aimee?  I can't hear her.  I check my sound.  It's good.  The last thing I heard Aimee say was, "Houston, we have a problem and then… silence.  ACK!  The host of the webinar and Aimee made a few more attempts but could not get her back to stay.  Canceled, to be continued….

Perspective and Age

Things that were important to me when I was young, no longer hold that place of importance in my life.  I want to give this advice to my daughters that are in their twenty's right now.  Don't worry about that, don't stress, because it will seem inconsequential some day.  But I don't, because, just like me, they will find their own meaning of what's important and what lasts.

Before, I would be really upset with myself for not Acing that math final and going out with my friends instead.  Now, I appreciate that time spent with friends, much more than any math grade.

Before, I just wanted some time to myself, some peace and quiet.  Now, I would appreciate some noise and a few interruptions.

Before, I couldn't wait until my child could walk, talk and was potty trained.  Now, I appreciate the times that we rocked, read books and napped together.

Before, I would quickly clean off any smears of little hands on my windows.  Now, I understand why my mother left those little handprints of her grandchildren on the windows until the next visit.

My perspective has changed with age.

Monday Hopes

I live alone, children grown and on their own.  I'm lucky because they are healthy and happy and call me often.  But, the house still echoes and I can hear the floor creak when I walk.  It's so quiet at times.

I was thinking in the shower (I do some very deep and reflective thinking there) thinking about  Monday.  I don't have Monday "blahs" I just realized. Nice.. smiling to myself and thumbing through my closet.  Thoughts of what should I wear, mixed with thoughts of what will l learn today and what will I share.  It's been a long quiet weekend and I'm excited to be out amongst the students and my colleagues.  Monday hopes of making a difference today…
                                         Monday….
                                         here I……..
                                         come………

Corny Winter Poem

I'm having so much fun writing with the Two Writing Teachers March challenge.  It's only day two and I'm feeling a release of tension and having a blast!  The weather seems to be on everyone's mind and it's been on mine also.  Here we go……

Breaking Winter

Crystals forming on my door

I don't want to see them anymore

Snow is falling on my walk

I'd rather not shovel, but have a nice talk

Birds are shivering in a tree

I'm sure glad that it's not me

Fog, wind and ice abound

I can't wait 'til it's not around

Please spring, will you hurry up?

Because then, I can just drink snow in a cup!

My Front Door this Morning!

Escaping Back to Summer 2012

Mesa Verde Cliff Dwelling

Looking outside my white wintery world in Wyoming this morning, I decided to take a mini-daydream and escape, back to the summer of 2012. -Swooooooosh-

"Hey Vanessa!  I have a year pass to the national parks that expires in August," my friend told me, "What do you think?"

"What do I think?  I think it sounds like an adventure and I'm in!"  I insisted that our first stop be at Mesa Verde National Park in Colorado.  It's a place that I'd been wanting to explore for over 5 years.  A place of history, mystique and architectural wonder.

It was finally summer and we were off! I'll skip the adventure of the trip down there.  That's another story!

We pulled into the campsite at about 11:00 p.m.  There were no lights, but it didn't matter because the stars and moon lit up the night sky more enticingly and brilliant than any 4th of July fireworks display.



Luckily, there was one last campsite left.  Well, more like half a campsite.  No matter, we told each other, we'll find a better one in the morning when people start leaving.  Keep in mind, the campsite is dead quiet.  No one was stirring… (okay, I won't go there).  We were trying to set up our tent, air up our air mattress and settle in as quietly as we could. Shhh  I'll apologize to our neighbors in the morning I thought, as I laid down my heard trying to sleep and wondering what Indian lore, legends and insights I would learn about tomorrow.

-Swoooooosh -Would love to be there right now, on a warm summer night, under the rays of  starlight and moonlight.  The whole summer of adventures ahead of me.  But for now, I'll do a mini-daydream and escape for a few memories.

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